(Current Mood)
I should be studying for a test I have in about 8 hours, but
honestly cannot focus because there is so much on my mind.
These past few weeks, I have been struggling with not being
enough. I am currently trying to be the same 4.0 student I was last semester,
the perfect daughter and sister, the greatest friend, the best employee, and a
well-rounded individual. But, you know what? Trying to be all of that is quite
challenging, and I hate to say it, but impossible.
I am so incredibly lucky to go to an amazing school and to
have an amazing family and friends. I have so many wonderful things going on in
my life, but as soon as something does not go well, I emotionally collapse. I
try so hard to be in control of all of these different aspects in my life, but
I am not supposed to be in control of them! You know who IS supposed to be in
control no matter what? GOD!
I do not know if you can relate to this while you read it,
or if you just think I am insane. To be honest, I do not really care. What I do
care about is that you make an effort, with me, to recognize that God has
everything in the palm of His hand. He has our joys, our struggles, our tears,
our laughter, and SO much more, in the palm of His hand.
He has created you and me to be His instruments. He did not
put us on the Earth to get the greatest grades and to astound all of the people
we know with how well we do in life. He did not create us under the assumption
that we will be flawless and succeed in everything that we do, 100% of the
time. He created us to walk the Earth and share the joy of the Lord with
everyone around us. He gives us the opportunity EVERY DAY to turn to Him in
prayer and in thanksgiving. HOW COOL IS THAT?!
I keep trying to remember that my “calling” is not to get
straight A’s, make a lot of money, and push myself to the ultimate limit. My “calling”
right now is to be grateful, be joyful, do my best, and love abundantly.
If you are feeling the same way I do in regards to not being
enough, it is my prayer that you understand that you are MORE than enough. God
created you and He is using you in the exact way He wants to. Your life is His
artwork and His masterpiece. All you need to do is let Him control the paintbrush
and all of the colors will flow beautifully (cheesy, I know…but it makes me
smile).
I am more than enough. You are more than enough. No matter
what goes on in our lives and no matter what struggles we come across, we are
perfect in the eyes of God and nothing can ever change that.
Always stay fierce, stay fashionable, and stay faithful.
