What is a better thing to do than study for a college exam I have in 10 hours? To write about how the single life is fantastic and magical. This may be a little bit all over the place organization wise, and I apologize for that. Sometimes though, I just gotta write out some thoughts and they keep coming! :)
*Disclaimer: I have nothing against healthy, wonderful, happy relationships! They are amazing things that should be cherished and cared for. I love them actually. I just am single right now, so thought I would write about why that is a pretty amazing thing too.*
I am probably in the minority when I say that I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18. I also have only been in two relationships, which both were not very good situations. However, I have never been completely convinced that the single life was a good or enjoyable thing.
Recently, though, I have been overwhelmingly thrilled with being single. I am not sure how that feeling of confidence and comfort came about, but I am so happy that it did! And if you, as a reader, are potentially struggling with "singlehood," maybe some of this will give you comfort. I have never been so happy, so confident, and so overwhelmed with joy as I have been recently, due to my current singlehood.
I am not going to write about "singlehood" in the same way that Cosmo or TSM do. I am not going to explain how it is a time to throw yourselves at anyone who walks by and have fun because of the lack of commitment. It is not a time to see how many guys are interested in you or how many hearts you can break.
TSM includes the following as two of the 50 benefits of being single:
1. Sex is never a chore
2. No one makes their problems your problems
PEOPLE! What kind of world are we living in if those are two of the 50 reasons singlehood is a good thing!! Those are just two examples, but I think it is important to share some more moral values to singlehood, than those lovely shoutouts to sex and problems.
First of all, something I have found out in my joy of singlehood is that it is a time to focus on yourself. I don't mean it is a time to forget about friends, family, or other obligations, but it is a time in your life where you can do what you want to do, when you want to do it, and for the right reasons! It allows for you to truly think about and remind yourself what you deserve and how you deserve to be treated; like the princess that you are in God's eyes. It has allowed me to reach a point in my life where I do not want to settle for anything I have experienced in my past, or anyone who does not recognize my worth or the sheer beauty of my heart. I am not perfect, and none of us are, but I do know that my heart and soul are beautiful and I can confidently say, I only want someone who can see that beauty and cherishes it as much as I cherish his.
Second, it is a time where sex doesn't even need to be on your mind. I am someone who would like to wait until marriage for sex, but even if you're not, don't think about it in singlehood! Don't look at it in the same way TSM does! If you are single, you should not be messing around with anyone else based on the fact that you aren't committed to another! You should take joy in the fact that you are on your own, you are special and wonderful, and that is not something that should occupy your brain!
The third thing may only apply to some, but it would be great if it applied to all. Personally, I love this aspect because I love fashion, but when you are single, dressing for yourself is so much more fun! You do not need to think about what this one guy in your math class will be "into" or how tall of heels you can wear to get by with that shorter guy you like. NO! You can put on a tulle skirt, spin around in the mirror, and be like "DANG! I look, feel, and I am a marvelous creation!" just because!
Fourth is FAITH! I feel like there are two lies that college students can say sometimes, and I definitely have before too--I am no angel. These lies, I think, are that (1) you don't have enough free time to devote time to Jesus and prayer or (2) you do devote time to prayer and you're doing well in your faith life and relationship with Christ. I have nothing against those in relationships, and I think if you are in one with an evenly yoked individual and can devote time to faith growth, that is phenomenal! But while you are single, how cool is it that you can devote any or all of your free time to the big guy upstairs! He is so amazing and deserves any time we can give Him! If you also are feeling like you are doing well in your faith life, that is phenomenal and God bless you! But, with that said, we can all grow, always! Am I right?! AM I right!
The fifth thing to point out is that, TSM is totally wrong when they say that a benefit to being single is "no one makes their problems your problems." Again I say, WRONG! When you are single, it is such a great time for you to CHOOSE to let other people's struggles or problems become yours! When a friend or loved one needs you, just needs a hug, wants to talk, or is having some personal issues, you have the time and ability to step in, love them, pray for them, and care for them! It is a time for you to focus on other people's overall happiness in life, in addition to thinking about your own. Being single, and currently uncommitted, I find so much joy in having the freedom to comfort and pray for those who need it more than I do.
Lastly, in a bit of a hodge podge of words, a time of singlehood is a time of joy, laughter, happiness, friendships, fun, dancing (if you're into that), sparkles, happy tears, and a time of growth. It is not a time to be condemned or judged. It is not a period of time that should be looked at as a waiting game. It is wonderful, marvelous, and fantastic. And it is most of all, a time for you to be comforted in the fact that God has a perfect plan for you and your love life. A plan for His princess (you) to find ultimate happiness in someone who you deserve. He has got it all figured out :) Maybe I will meet an amazing guy in the next month, maybe in the next year, maybe not for a long time, who knows! But I am perfectly okay with that. In the mean time, you and I can sit back, relax, create lovely moments, and trust in Him!
God bless you all dearly. I hope and pray you find comfort in whatever season you are at in your life; single or in a relationship.
Always stay fierce, stay fashionable, and stay faithful!
Kelly,
ReplyDeleteI love this! My friend and I were just having a similar discussion last night so I'll definitely have to share with her.
In addition to everything you said, I'd like to add this: college is one of the best times of your life because never again will you get to live with and be surrounded by so many of your friends. I don't know about you, but I met some of my absolute dearest friends in college and I lived with the majority of them during my time there. Being single allows for those friendships to grow like no other. My absolute favorite year of college was the year that all my friends and I were mostly all single single because we spent so much time with each other --time that we probably wouldn't have spent together if we had boyfriends. I have nothing against our boyfriends now, but I miss those days so much, so cherish them like I'm glad you do!
Allie! Thank you so much for your sweet note and insight! I totally agree that college is such an important time to grow and I can't wait to see how the Lord allows me, and those close to me, to do so! Thank you for reading and for sharing! Hope all is well! God bless!
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